The Worst ****ing Show I've Ever Seen

Unabridged version

The worst ****ing show I’ve ever seen is Channel 4’s Come Dine With Me. Five ordinary members of the daytime TV watching public hold dinner parties for each other. A film crew records the process. Channel 4 apply a sarcastic voice over afterwards in the hope of distancing themselves from the shit that they end up with. The contestants compete against each other, scoring each other’s parties badly in the hope of winning the main prize at the end of the week. The whole purpose of sharing and breaking bread together is entirely dismissed by the lure of the £1000 prize and the producers’ need to make entertaining TV. Contestants are encouraged to criticize each other’s food and houses with pithy comments. Unfortunately, not ever having a particular flair for wit, these are generally along the lines of ‘Gosh, could you imagine having that ornament in your house? Hoo hoo hoo’. Not entertaining in themselves, the sole purpose of these remarks seem to be to place the contestants along a line of the class system. Demarcating the posh as not liking anything common, the common as not liking anything outrageous, and the nouveau riche as only liking their own white and black interior styling. The unspoken formula to win is traditionally British – be higher class and better bred.
The soul of my being is offended by the fact that food is still being used to uphold a centuries old feudal system. Of course, firmly committed to the class struggle I sky+ the 21/2 hour Sunday omnibus and watch it every week with relish, knowing that such a blatant display has got to defeat against itself eventually.

Edited Version:

The worst ****ing show I've ever seen is Channel 4's Come Dine With Me. It's shit.